Don't tell me to be a "cool girl" if your behaviour ain't cool!

This comes from a place of genuine care. 

Of late, I have gotten sick and tired, angry and upset, downright mad at the way men are treating women in this game called modern day dating. The key word here being "modern". 

Luckily for us, or rather unluckily, there is plenty of advise out there for every single dating scenario. 

For example...

He stopped responding to your texts after your second date? Just play it cool. Act like the 'cool' girl you are, carry on living your life, do you, etc. etc. etc. 

What? He slept with you and he ghosted? Nah, leave him alone. Forget about him. What a loser. You are better off without him. 

So, he pursued you and made it seem like he wanted to build on something and now he's acting like you don't exist? Give him space, don't contact him. Go out with the girls. Forget about him. 

You know what. Fuck you and your stupid rules. I don't get how we've got to a stage where people think it's okay to treat others as disposable. It's not okay to go on a few dates and disappear, it's not okay to sleep with someone and disappear, it's not okay to lead someone on and then disappear. Slowfading, breadcrumbing, benching, ghosting none of that is ever okay. Just because we label it and recognise that it is happening to a lot of people, still does not make it okay. 

I'm going to give you a little life scenario, away from dating. If you were nice to someone, kind to them, treated them with respect, showed them genuine care and if that person then turned around and disrespected you, walked all over you, treated you less than or made you feel insignificant, would you just walk away, go no contact, forget about them and move on? 

I know what my answer is. I was raised to stand up to anything that way wrong. If you cross my boundaries, treated me in a way that I felt was not okay, I'm going to say something to you. That's what adults do. I won't be aggressive about it. I'll simply put it out there, that this is not cool. 

I know this is contrary to what every dating guru will tell you. 

But this is where we have to factor in modern dating. I feel like apps like Tinder, Bumble, etc. have created a conveyor belt mentality in the minds of many of these men and women. Whilst, previously, you walking away would have made these people think and reflect on their actions, now, they wouldn't even bat an eyelid, they will be onto the next person, and most likely, treat them just as terribly, and then the one after, and the one after that... 

It's an ugly, never ending vicious cycle. 

And much like what led to the financial crash, the dating market is one that's based on false economics. These people are led to believe there is more out there, there is better out there, there is always the next one, and so, they dip and discard and move on without so much as a thought or consideration for the other person and that's not cool. 

So, anyone who tells me to play it cool, no, I won't play it cool. Teach me to be bold, to be brave, to communicate better and be a better person. And maybe, if enough people spoke their minds, we could break this ugly modern dating cycle.