Taking the power away from Ghosters

For anyone who reads this blog and follows me on Twitter, you'll know that Ghosting is my number one problem with modern day app based dating today. 

I've been Ghosted before - a few times - and it hasn't been pleasant. 

The first time I got Ghosted, it was a total and complete shock. Mandem just vanished. I have now come to realise that he was a colossal bellend. And it's best to not discuss him, if I am being perfectly honest. 

The next time it happened, I realised once again that the dude was an even bigger bellend. This was someone who I had explicitly told, "I've been Ghosted before; it was pretty hurtful. If you're ever thinking of pulling a move like that, then let's not carry on" AND BOOM. You know what he did, right? CORRECT. He didn't think it was important to tell me he'd started seeing someone else. So rather than do the mature thing of a simple text telling me - 'Hey, I had fun but I've started seeing someone else who I think I am more compatible with", he just didn't reply to my last text message. 

And it happened, again. In this third case as well, the guy who was blowing hot, hot, hot from the very beginning, just magically lost interest when I went away on holiday. He'd suggested meeting up on the Sunday after I got back to the country and I just never heard from him again when I nudged a casual 'Are we still up for this evening?' text. Kinda shitty, I know. With dude #3 as well, I'd clarified my stance on Ghosting in a casual chat. But this time, rather than sending them a text telling them how Ghosting is not cool, I just did nothing. I just moved on. 

Don't get me wrong, it upset me for a week or so. And here's something I told myself to get that power back from them... 

If someone Ghosts you, that's on them. It's really not your job to tell a grown ass man how he should be behaving with women he sleeps with or dates. Quite frankly, their mothers should have done a better job of raising a decent man. And most importantly, from now on, instead of wondering what you did wrong and getting in touch with them to ask for validation, have faith in your own self-worth. Did you conduct yourself decently with this person? Did you treat them with respect? Were you fun and cool and made them feel special during your time with them? My guess is, you did all those things. So, hopefully one day; if at all, the Ghosters of this world have a wave of consciousness, let them be left wondering why they acted so disgracefully to someone who was nice to them. And let them come to the realisation that, it's all on them.

From now on, no more chasing Ghosters seeking answers. No more confronting them. Because frankly, a man who thinks it's okay to Ghost women after a few dates/after sleeping with them is not a man I want to date in the first place. 











Comments

  1. Read through most of your blogs this morning, so many things I can relate with from a male perspective. Not just the men that are the assholes (I know that's not what you're implying)

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