Ah, the beauty of those real life connections - those people who come into your life almost unexpectedly, without warning, like a surprise, and they always, always, always leave you with a gift; usually in the form of a lesson. This is exactly why I advocate real life interactions over meeting people on apps. So, let's talk about Tom.
I was at a restaurant in Clapham with my friend on a Saturday night after having watched the rugby. At this point, we've had a couple of beers and red wine was flowing. Point is, my liquid courage game was strong. Tom was sat on the same table as us by himself, reading, yes, reading. Me being me, I asked him what he was reading. Turns out it was an obscure article about something deeply philosophical. (Did I mention it was Saturday evening?) An article about the psychology of boredom, you say? Obviously, my intrigue level went from 0 to 100 in 0.1 seconds.
The three of us - me, my friend and Tom - ended up having a wonderful evening. Tom left after his wine, we exchanged numbers and decided to meet again - the three of us.
*Anyone who lives in London will understand how unusual it is to (A) Strike up a conversation with a stranger (B) Actually meet them again.
And we did meet Tom again, twice. Both occasions were a blast.
I wasn't quite sure about Tom. I was aware that he secretly harboured a crush on me but I never encouraged it, because like I said, I wasn't sure about Tom. And leading people on is not my game.
Following our third meet up, Tom was keen on the texting. I didn't encourage anything, and our last text interaction ended with him saying 'It's such a lovely day out there today.' Which in my personal opinion is a 'I needn't respond' to that text.
And then I never heard from him.
Two months on today, I bumped into Tom in Clapham, whilst I am out with the same friend.
We grab coffee, there's a little bit of playful banter going on and then he says, "You never replied to my text."
(Did I just get accused of ghosting someone?)
I apologised and said I didn't think it was a text that needed a response and that if he'd texted me again, I would have responded. In fact, in all probability, if he'd asked me out, I would've gone for a drink. But I completely understand, men deal with getting turned down differently, so, I can see how he would have read the situation.
At least, that air was cleared. Funny how I had no idea he felt that I went cold turkey on him. So, maybe, boys/girls, lesson #1 If you like someone, send that one extra text, be direct and to the point, tell them you'd like to hang out with them. Be straight up. Ask for what you want. Like I always say, what's the worst that can happen.
Bumping into Tom was a nice surprise. I've genuinely enjoyed his company, he's clever, he's political and he's passionate about politics, and I find that endearing. So, I decided to drop him a text to rectify my mistake. That's when he did something rare and beautiful.
What an absolute gent. Lesson #2 This has really came at a time when I needed reminding that guys can be decent and the good, honest, non-shady ones exist. So, boys, be more like Tom.
I was at a restaurant in Clapham with my friend on a Saturday night after having watched the rugby. At this point, we've had a couple of beers and red wine was flowing. Point is, my liquid courage game was strong. Tom was sat on the same table as us by himself, reading, yes, reading. Me being me, I asked him what he was reading. Turns out it was an obscure article about something deeply philosophical. (Did I mention it was Saturday evening?) An article about the psychology of boredom, you say? Obviously, my intrigue level went from 0 to 100 in 0.1 seconds.
The three of us - me, my friend and Tom - ended up having a wonderful evening. Tom left after his wine, we exchanged numbers and decided to meet again - the three of us.
*Anyone who lives in London will understand how unusual it is to (A) Strike up a conversation with a stranger (B) Actually meet them again.
And we did meet Tom again, twice. Both occasions were a blast.
I wasn't quite sure about Tom. I was aware that he secretly harboured a crush on me but I never encouraged it, because like I said, I wasn't sure about Tom. And leading people on is not my game.
Following our third meet up, Tom was keen on the texting. I didn't encourage anything, and our last text interaction ended with him saying 'It's such a lovely day out there today.' Which in my personal opinion is a 'I needn't respond' to that text.
And then I never heard from him.
Two months on today, I bumped into Tom in Clapham, whilst I am out with the same friend.
We grab coffee, there's a little bit of playful banter going on and then he says, "You never replied to my text."
(Did I just get accused of ghosting someone?)
I apologised and said I didn't think it was a text that needed a response and that if he'd texted me again, I would have responded. In fact, in all probability, if he'd asked me out, I would've gone for a drink. But I completely understand, men deal with getting turned down differently, so, I can see how he would have read the situation.
At least, that air was cleared. Funny how I had no idea he felt that I went cold turkey on him. So, maybe, boys/girls, lesson #1 If you like someone, send that one extra text, be direct and to the point, tell them you'd like to hang out with them. Be straight up. Ask for what you want. Like I always say, what's the worst that can happen.
Bumping into Tom was a nice surprise. I've genuinely enjoyed his company, he's clever, he's political and he's passionate about politics, and I find that endearing. So, I decided to drop him a text to rectify my mistake. That's when he did something rare and beautiful.
What an absolute gent. Lesson #2 This has really came at a time when I needed reminding that guys can be decent and the good, honest, non-shady ones exist. So, boys, be more like Tom.
Comments
Post a Comment